Exhibit A - 4 hours of Bejewelled Facebook meditation
Exhibit B - The source of my grief
I read a lot about award-winning work
I love advertising and creativity
Much as a loathe the awards game
and believe myself to be one who is 'true' to my profession
meaning - dedicated to giving my clients the best creative solution to solve marketing and brand problems
A part of me still feels competitive
and every time this year (well maybe twice a year, counting kancils, but last year i didn't feel it)
I feel a niggling mixture of frustration, jealousy and impotence when the Creative Review publishes their annual creative rankings.
Does it mean they're better than me?
More importantly, am I as good as them?
Normally the creative child in me is just plain happy to learn, invent and create something new every day. All i want is something new in my portfolio. And if my team learns something as well, all the better. And if we all went through each campaign, and came out alive and smiling, there are sure to be something to remember on our battle scars for the next sortie.
But nooo. This isn't normal. Not with a 4 day long weekend. Not with jumping into the deep end on the wrong end of the client-agency appreciation scale. Not with the creative rankings issue hanging itself at newstands.
And so i did the one thing i could. Screen-saver meditation. Many creative books and books on creativity will always tell you to walk away and do something else, how it's good for your thoughts. And it always has. So here are some fleeting thoughts through it all.
1. Winning awards - conspiracy 1 - you get hooked, and you stay at the agency, willing to do anything and everything because that's the price you pay to get your name on that poster submission form.
2. Winning awards, irony 1 - you lose your best people after they win the awards, because at the end of the day they're chasing the money
3. Winning awards, irony 2 - last year's top creative person was purely fictional. Truth is, he's more real than most of the work that the creatives whose names are on the list have won on.
4. Winning awards, irony 3 - the 'third-person voice' in me is calling me a loser, because only losers complain about the awards.
5. Winning awards, irony 4 - where does it all end? for some people never. I guess that's what some people are paid for. It's the choices we make, and to each their own. Also upbringing i suppose. I grew up in the 'blue-collar' part of the advertising neighbourhood.
Yes. Bejewelled for Facebook. As i started chasing the rankings on the page, i realised... YES! I made it into the Top 3... look at me! I am the envy of everyone else in the rankings. On the overall scheme of things, it ain't exactly the nobel prize. And even then, they don't win on Theory. Just like architects who don't win because they submitted a sketch of the building. Neither do they have to submit their buildings for the award shows (i'm assuming the last point).
At if Hajjah should come in with a copy of the rankings, i will still buy it, study it, and scrutinise it. And of course, try to spot my name in it, semi-conciously.
The irony never ceases. Give me some work to do damnit. Or maybe more Bejewelled Blitz.
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